Brilliantly Bitter

Wolves vs Wildcats

2012-02-12T18:28:00.001-05:00

A Message from Mina

2012-02-11T18:35:00.001-05:00

Piece of Paradise

2012-02-10T20:20:00.008-05:00

Photo from our trip to Hawaii in October.

Photo from our trip to Hawaii in October, processed through Snapseed on my iPad.

A Night at the Theater

2012-02-09T19:11:00.001-05:00

This is my Life

2012-02-08T21:16:00.001-05:00

This video might as well be titled shit *I* say.

Post 6am MMAfit

2012-02-07T07:16:00.001-05:00

Ewwwwwwww...

London Kitty

2012-02-06T20:39:00.001-05:00

She seems all innocent and unassuming, but behind that calm exterior lives an anxious tail sucking, box sitting, chases my imaginary friend for hours, crazy ass cat.

Super Bowl Cake Balls

2012-02-05T18:25:00.001-05:00

Dinner Party

2012-02-04T23:17:00.001-05:00

Snapspeed

2012-02-03T13:57:00.001-05:00

Messing with a new photo editing app instead of doing work. This started as a slightly motion blurred photo of foot trampled snow I took in Ottawa last week.

Sugar High

2012-02-02T17:24:00.001-05:00

Working three doors down from this place is dangerous.

Talk to the phone

2012-02-01T22:09:00.001-05:00

I spent the whole day talking to a conference phone and accomplished absolutely nothing.

Pockets of Time

2012-01-31T11:00:00.001-05:00

I have found myself with several little pockets of time today. Time to myself. Time to think. It's a nice change from the go go go of the last week or so. Business trips, party planning, party cleaning, party hosting; all these things take their toll. That said, all these things are good.

I like that I am busy. I'm a little annoyed that mega upload got taken down and now I have no way to catch up on my tv shows, but really, on the grand scheme of things if that's all I'm missing, that's good.

Sometimes I worry that I'm keeping so busy so that I can avoid myself. So that I don't have time to meditate on the darker recesses of my brain. Then I come across a day like today and I'm reminded, this is normal.

Photo a day February is coming your way. You know, because tomorrow? Tomorrow is the first day of February.

The New Year

2012-01-07T11:33:00.003-05:00

2009 and 2010 were hard. They were marred by loss, blurred by grief, pushed through with extraordinary effort. I struggled to keep my head above the proverbial water.

2011 was about growth, renewal; taking what I had become and whipping it into shape. I started with my mental health. Through therapy and anti-depressants, I began to see the world differently. No longer colored by anxiety or slowed by my internal road blocks or the dense fog that surrounded my brain, I was finally able to see things clearly. I didn't like what I saw. I worked hard to change my behavior, to control overreactions, to take action when I never would have before. I began living my life, instead of just floating through it. When I felt strong enough, I moved on to the physical.

I began working out more, going to Yoga, added running. Then I joined a martial arts gym and kicked my workouts into a whole new gear. I began to see my efforts affect my body. I can't begin to describe how helpful it is to be able to see, to touch the fruits of your labors. I knew I was better, but now I could see it. I could feel the changes in my mind and body and how they worked together. I felt changes in the way I carried myself and physically moved through my day. I learned that limits are temporary, if they exist at all.

All of these efforts taught me new skills. They exposed me to different angles, pushed me past my comfort zone until I realized it wasn't that scary after all. I'm eager to use all these new tools. To put into practice in 2012, what I learned in 2011.

Thus, I believe 2012 is my year. I'm taking it by the horns and it's going where I want it to go. It's not going to be like the ones that have come before. There are small plans and big plans and many of them are things I haven't done before. It's going to be an exciting ride.

Here we go!

The End

2011-11-30T22:01:00.004-05:00

Traditionally, the last post of the month of blogging is usually focused on my sister. You know, because it's her birthday and all. That's probably why when I called to wish her a happy birthday she mentioned she was excited to read this post tomorrow morning. It's also why I have come up with nothing to write about. (So much pressure!)

I know, I know, the post about how you have nothing to post about is so freakin' cliche. Not to mention just a little bit of a cop out, but I can't help it. It's just been one of those days. I should have taken time to write this post this morning on the train. Or this afternoon at lunch. I should have remembered my phone charger so that I could have written it on the train ride home. Or perhaps I should have taken the time during the 45 mins I had at home before boxing? Any of those would have worked, but not one of those things happened.

So here I am. It's after 10pm on a Wednesday. My eyes tired and sleepy but my body is still buzzing from my workout. Abby is asleep on the couch. The kitties haven't yet settled and are constantly getting into some sort of trouble. This is a pretty typical evening. Nothing special really, except that I'm sitting here writing about it.

Thanks to blogging this month I got a lot of things out of my brain. I remembered why I don't actually post consistently. (I'm really not all that verbose.) I realized I think about things differently now than I did last year, which was different from the years before and so on. For better or worse, 10 years of my history is recorded here. We'll see where the next 10 take me...

So, it's time for sleep now. This place will probably return to it's usual quiet space. As consolation, I leave you with this:

My Bitchin' Mo. :)

Day 29

2011-11-29T22:29:00.006-05:00

Almost there.

Had dinner with a friend this evening. It was nice to catch up and the food was pretty awesome.

Abby is now at hockey and I seem to have found myself clicking through youtube videos ending up at weirder and more horrifying images with each click. I think I need to stop now. The YouTube surfing and the blogging.

One more day. I'll see what I can do to make it interesting.

ETA:
I'm hungry.

Edited again:
Potato chips after 11pm was probably not the best idea ever.

Nothing.

2011-11-28T21:17:00.003-05:00

Just this.

Productivity...

2011-11-27T20:21:00.002-05:00

is over rated.

While mourning the last day of vacation, I've managed to go for a 'run' and do laundry. My only other claim is that I checked the watched box on 4 episodes of television. I'm now watching a fascinating 60 minutes story on flavoring.

Such excitement.

Saturday

2011-11-26T19:58:00.003-05:00

All the people have gone home.
A couch pile: Abby, kitties, quilts and me.
Yummy snacks.
Hockey on the TV.
And the best part?
There is more weekend tomorrow.

Newseums, iPads and Rock Band, oh my!

2011-11-25T20:08:00.003-05:00

The day began with a trip to the Newseum. I was skeptical, since I usually avoid the DC museums that charge fees. Turns out, totally worth it. Though the Groupon priced tickets were nice.

Then there was watching hockey. Wings won, Caps lost. We then braved the leftovers which have taken over our fridge. There was a suicidal head of cauliflower, but we mostly all made it out alive.

Mina discovered the awesomeness of a $500 cat toy.

And then, there was Rock Band. The fun and humiliation was shared by all.

Happy Black Friday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:48:00.003-05:00

It's that day again. A day for family, friends, food and frankfulness. Or rather thankfulness. Oops.

In the past family holidays have always meant enduring criticism and judgement. It's was a time when I had to bite my tongue. These days I don't do that anymore. Which means an honestly good time.

Today I'm thankful for pretty much everything. It's a happy day!

You can do anything for 30 seconds...

2011-11-23T13:40:00.002-05:00

Coach Nyjah tells us this all the time. Usually, while we're dripping sweat and grimacing in pain or getting ready to start our 3rd sprint set. I typically don't believe her but then, it's 30 seconds later.

There are things that are hard, things that are painful, things that make us believe we just can't go on, but we do. We always do. The harder you fight the pain, the harder you work to surpass an obstacle, the stronger you are the next time around. There's always a next time, might as well prepare for it.

Six months ago I struggled to get through 5 push-ups. Yesterday morning, I did 10 in a row. I followed that with a bunch of crunches and then 10 more. They weren't perfect. Other people did them faster or did more. Other people did it their way, but I did it my way and that's no less of an accomplishment.

The more milestones I hit physically, the more confidence I get elsewhere. I can do that, so why couldn't I do this? I'm more present in my life, learning to face things head on. I feel better. I feel stronger. Perhaps most importantly, I feel like I can do it. Whatever it may be.

Preparations

2011-11-22T19:57:00.002-05:00

Abby and I have many many people coming to our house on Thursday. Several of them will show up tomorrow. Thus, Abby and I were to spend this evening cleaning. We were doing good for a while, but then...all the energy just disappeared.

There's laundry to fold, hockey stuff to put away, vacuuming, kitchen and bathroom cleaning and all manner of other fun things. We made progress, but there's more to do. A lot more to do and I can barely keep my eyes open at 8pm. Fun times this is. Fun times.

Oops!

2011-11-22T08:35:00.001-05:00

Didn't even realize I missed yesterday until I was walking to the train this morning. Stupidly long, frustrating day at work messed with my whole schedule. Sheesh.

So, two posts today. You know, if I remember.

Couple a things...

2011-11-20T19:54:00.003-05:00

1. I get cardio workouts without running these days, so when Abby and I went for a "short", "easy" run this morning and accidentally ran 3 miles in little over 30 mins, I was a little bit surprised.
2. The Redskins almost looked like a decent football team today. Then they lost. Again.
3. I am way behind on the getting ready for Thanksgiving thing. Oh well.
4. Speaking of Thanksgiving, I am thankful that my family was not abducted by aliens.
5. Score keeping at hockey games is very cold. Also, even though the score may not show it, Abby and her team are getting *much* better.

Ok, so that was 5 things. Sue me.

Happy

2011-11-19T18:28:00.002-05:00

That's it. Just that today, I realized that I'm happy.

So, this is what it's like, life without depression. Interesting.

Seasonal Decorations

2011-11-18T21:46:00.002-05:00

A co-worker handed out plastic skeleton parts at Halloween. I have no idea why. Why she was passing them around or why I used them to make my cube wall more festive. Since Halloween is long over, I figured I should take him down. Then, I had a better idea.

Meh.

2011-11-17T21:28:00.002-05:00

I got nothing. So in place of insightful commentary, here's a summary of my day in 50 words or less:

6am MMA Circuit Training.
Went to work.
Did work.
Found out our health insurance costs will be going up. Again.
Went to meetings.
Chased down craziness.
Went to Whole Foods.
Lugged a 23 pound turkey home on the train.
Made beef stroganoff.
Called family.
Wrote post.
Went to bed.

Character

2011-11-16T19:44:00.001-05:00

I have several co-workers in Canada that I simply don't have much of a chance to interact with. So, while visiting the great white north, I took the opportunity to join some of these gentlemen on a trip to a late night diner after our sanctioned team bonding bowling trip. (Canadian 5 pin bowling. Weird.)

I was a little nervous, after all I didn't know any of the guys that well. One is older, a bit of cowboy with his cavalier attitudei. He's missing one of his front teeth and has his short grey hair shaved into a mowhawk. He also has an interesting contribution to the Movember tradition growing on his face. Let's call him Mr. T. Another is of Eastern European decent and the only way I can think to describe him is as a bruiser. You would not want to run into this guy in a dark alley. Let's call him Rocky. The third guy is inconsequential to this story, but I have to comment that when I find out a coworker is younger than my sister, I just feel old.

Mr. T is the king of awkward conversation topics. He likes to shock people, tease them and overall make them feel uncomfortable. Takes some getting used to, but you can tell its all from the heart. During our conversation at the diner I came out. Not that they probably didn't know already, but I had never had an explicit conversation with any of these guys. Mr. T actually straight up asked me and after my confirmation followed up with a story about his gay neighbors and how he goes to hang out with them when his wife is mad at him. Then he took it to all kinds of inappropriate places before it ended with us discussing how much money it would take to get us to sleep with a man. Mr. T was pretty easy, but don't worry he still likes pussy. Anyway...suffice it to say that Canadians have a much different attitude toward sexuality, homosexual and otherwise. The whole evening bordered on offensive, but never managed to actually cross the line.

As the guys were returning me to my hotel, Rocky experienced some road rage when two cars were racing from stoplight to stoplight in a pretty populated area. In his rage he called them fags. (Btw, I'm typing this on my phone on the plane home and it just autocorrected fags to Gaga. Heh.) I'm still searching through my brain for a response when Mr. T pipes up, "How do you know they're gay? Not all gay people are bad drivers you know." I almost leaned over and kissed him on his toothless mouth. It was perfect. Not too confrontational and yet totally got the point across: that particular slur used in this context is not just wrong, its kind of ridiculous. Rocky apologized and we moved on to figuring out where exactly my hotel was.

This morning after I got settled, Rocky sent me an instant msg. "Do you have a few mins to talk?" Uh sure. I start thinking through all the things he may want to talk to me about, but nothing came up. We really don't work together that much. His outward appearance is formidable and as we made our way to a conference room, I noticed I was actually a bit nervous. Once I saw his face however, really looked him in the eye, I noticed I was no where near as nervous as he was.

He apologized again for his language. Explained he didn't mean to hurt me and that the thought that he might have had kept him up most of the night. He explained about the death of a close friend due to reckless driving and how seeing others act that way makes his blood boil. He knew it was wrong, he felt remorse, owned up to his actions and vowed to do better next time.

This is not the first time I've wrestled with coworkers using hurtful language in my presence. It is no longer a commonplace occurance, but at one time it was and since then such situations have lost some of their sting. In this case, Rocky was hurting more than I was. This isn't something I've experienced before. It's the first time I've gotten an unsolicited and heartfelt apology. I really wanted to hug the guy, but he was up and gone before I had the chance.

OMG Baby Penguins!

2011-11-15T22:11:00.003-05:00

The Central Park Zoo is raising penguin chicks by hand. They are super adorable. Can I have one?

O Canada...

2011-11-14T21:24:00.002-05:00

On a business trip....it's been a long day. Now that I'm back in the hotel room, I was going to catch up on some tv. However, I'm in Canada and thus, outside of the geographical region for streaming of most shows. So then I tried to stream shows from Canadian channels, but I was rejected there too. So, now I think I'm just going to go to sleep.

On the Edge

2011-11-13T19:34:00.003-05:00

South Point, Hawaii - October 4, 2011

Suffer in Silence

2011-11-12T12:07:00.004-05:00

I was taught to suffer in silence. Doing so shows strength of character, exposes no weakness and allows one to maintain the status quo. Whatever the trouble, it is irrelevant. The march forward must continue. You must make the journey alone.

Your troubles are your business. You can't expect others to fight your battles for your or even with you. You must assume that the whole world is against you or at least doesn't give a shit. There is no honor in seeking help. No reward for accomplishments attained with the aide of others. Nothing but shame can come from sharing the burden.

This is what I was taught. By example, by those subtle cues kids pick up from their parents. I learned that this was how it was. It took me a long to figure out just how much damage I inflicted upon myself by approaching life like that.

As humans we have the capability to carry extremely heavy loads. Physical, emotional, external, internal, the specifics don't matter. We have an ever growing capacity. That capacity expands exponentially when we share the burden with those around us. Support comes in many packages. A doctor to help heal your body, a friend to lend an ear, a partner to stand next to you as you face the enemy.

There is no special prize for making it through on your own. You don't actually gain superiority. There is no reason to fear exposing weakness, illness, vulnerability to people you trust. There is no good reason to suffer in silence.

Guest Post via the Soiree Blog

2011-11-11T20:01:00.002-05:00

Proceed to the following:
Fun Photos

You and me

2011-11-10T17:29:00.001-05:00

Sitting close, your hand in mine. Let's just ride the train all night.

Umm....

2011-11-09T20:59:00.002-05:00

I had a plan for a post. Then I came home to Abby watching the CMA awards and...well, it's pretty much the only thing there is now. The whole thing is a like train wreck. Can't. Stop. Looking.

And yes. His jeans are sparkly. Eep.

What's on TV?

2011-11-08T20:11:00.004-05:00

It seems weird to call it TV since I watch most of it on a computer. At times, I use the TV as the monitor though, so I guess that counts. After dumping cable some months ago I get my programs though network websites, hulu, netflix and uh...other means. On occasion I'll watch something live via HD antenna, but for the most part, I watch what I want whenever I have the time. So, here's some of the shows that are at the top of the list.

Shows currently airing:

Skins (UK)
Many people on the internets have told me to watch this show. Now that it's available on Hulu, I've been marathoning the crap out of it. Skins is an angsty teen drama filled with sex, drugs and alcohol. Also, British accents. The words bollocks, wanker and tosser (among others) have recently been making regular appearances in my internal dialog. The situations these characters are placed in are sometimes extreme, but the emotions and actions are all very true to life. These characters are all 17-19 years old and are played by actors of the same age. When I wonder why so and so did this or that, all I have to do is remember what it was like to be 17 and then it all makes sense.

Prime Suspect (US)
The extreme sexism that plagued the early episodes has been toned down and the show would be so much better if they just made Jane a lesbian, but it's filling The Closer sized hole in my entertainment schedule. Also, I have been in love with Maria Bello since she was on ER back in 1990whatever. So, there could be a small amount of bias. I hear it's not as good as the UK version, but without Helen Mirren does it even have a chance?

Lost Girl (CA)
This show gets compared to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A lot. And I see where the similarities lie. Gang of characters, some human, some not, fighting off Monsters of the Week and slowly revealing an all encompassing story arc that may or may not be resolved to the satisfaction of the fans? Yeah...pretty much the same thing. Which is why I enjoy it. I love it, because it's like the grown up version of Buffy. (Though I still kinda hate Bo...almost as much as I hated Buffy.) Season two got off to a rocky start, but it's finding it's footing again. SyFy has picked it up and will begin airing it January. Here's hoping they don't chop the crap out of it to make it more 'appropriate' for US audiences. The portrayal of sexuality in this show is one of the best things about it.

Shows currently on hiatus:

White Collar, In Plain Sight, Covert Affairs:
Ok, so Covert Affairs just started back up but USA delays shows for 30 days before they are available online. (Boo!) Anyway, these 3 shows are essentially the same. Law enforcement agencies (FBI, US Marshall and CIA respectively), quirky characters, unbelievable circumstances that are regularly utilized to fit the totally contrived storyline. These shows are fun for their great one liners and very pretty actors.

Switched at Birth
I'm a sucker for a good teen show. (Probably for the same reasons I'm drawn to YA lit.) This ABC Family drama adds a twist to the usual formula with Deaf characters, a glimpse into Deaf culture and lots of ASL. Given my previous education on those topics, how the show chooses to portray Deaf issues is totally fascinating and at times, frustrating. Overall though, this show puts up more wins than losses.

Rizzoli and Isles (AKA The Gay Pasta Show)
I know I can't possibly do the ridiculousness of this show justice. This one is all about making fun of the outrageousness and enjoying the chemistry between the two main characters. Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles are totally getting it on off screen.

Martial Arts Fitness Academy

2011-11-07T17:20:00.004-05:00

Some number of months ago I started looking for a new way to spend my time. Abby was off playing hockey a lot and while I generally enjoyed the time it gave me to do other things, I was rarely using it in a positive way. (Sitting on the couch randomly surfing the internet, hulu or netflix for 2+ hours does not usually count as positive.) So, I started going to Yoga. My flexibility was horrible and I had no endurance whatsoever, so it seemed like a good place to start getting back into shape. It was very good for my body, but ultimately? Yoga is boring. Boring and well, on occassion a little creepy. I needed something with more impact, more umpf. I thought about joining a soccer team, or going with some of the guys to play basketball after work so I started practicing with a basketball or soccer ball. In the end, I just wasn't confident enough in my conditioning or my skills to take it beyond my back patio. Then one evening I was at a happy hour for a co-worker and a friend mentioned her plans to sign up for Tae Kwon Do classes at a gym near my office. "That sounds awesome!" I said, "Let me know and I'll sign up with you!" Of course, she never did. (Sign up or let me know about it.) So, I started doing some research and that's when I found found MAFA. Women owned martial arts gym for women and children only a few blocks from my house? Sign me up!

I've been taking Thai Boxing classes and the occasional MMA Circuit Training or Yoga class since July. The workouts are rough. I come home drenched in sweat, looking like I've been out in the rain, but it's done amazing things. My cardio endurance is the best it's been since High School. I have actual muscle definition. I can keep up with Abby on weekend runs and I just overall feel better. I have more confidence in myself. My stress levels are way down on account of the fact that I get to hit things. Lots of awesomeness there, but I've also noticed that I'm not a teenager anymore. I get banged up and bruised just about every class. I've sprained my wrist, my ankle and I'm sore a lot of the time but somehow that doesn't matter. I love every second of it, pain and all.

To Do List: Sunday Evening

2011-11-06T17:19:00.002-05:00

1. Write blog post
2. Finish Laundry
3. Hulu queue catch up
4. Feed the ~~monsters~~ cats
5. Do not, under any circumstances, eat more Oreos.

Bah...

2011-11-05T18:29:00.002-04:00

So, the other day, when I was feeling particularly wordy, I pre-wrote a bunch of entries. I thought this was a brilliant idea given that I know how this post once a day for a month thing usually goes. The thing with the pre-written entries, is that they were done during boring meetings at work and thus, are in my notebook...at work. It is Saturday and thus, I am not work. This is a good thing.
Well, except that I don't have any of those entries with me and so you're stuck with this: a post that ultimately says nothing, even though I prattle on and on.

You're welcome internet.

You're not the boss of me!

2011-11-04T19:25:00.001-04:00

I was unhappy. So, I made a change. Seems simple enough. Once I made the decision, I didn't let my depression, or lack of confidence or apathy get in the way. It took a awhile, I endured many condescending conversations, but ultimately, I got it done. The change is small, but its enough. Enough to help me feel empowered, to help me get past the bull shit. We'll see how long the high lasts, but I'm hopeful. That in itself is an improvement.

S'up?

2011-11-03T20:54:00.002-04:00

Lazy? Maybe. Photo of a totally awesome ancient Hawaiian totem? Exactly.

Cancer Sucks

2011-11-02T16:57:00.004-04:00

No way around that one. It's a plague that afflicts members of my family more than most. It's a disease that doctor's don't quite understand. It's a way of life that doesn't seem real until you experience it. Until you've spent days vomitting and lost all your hair (yes, even that hair) and contemplated if treatment is worse than death, you just can't get it. I've held the barf bin, shaved my mom's head, heard the news "I have cancer", "The cancer is back" and "It's terminal" more than once, but it's not enough. It's not enough to truly understand what it's like to face your own mortality and then live your life anyway. "Living with, not dying, from disease."

I've started walking this path once again, with a new loved one. With someone who has 'heard the news'. With someone who is overwhelmed and numb and searching for answers. I'm not looking forward to this journey, but I'm hoping to gain more understanding, more weapons for my arsenal. Weapons for use in aide of others, but also for myself, when inevitably, my body betrays me too.

Welcome to November

2011-11-01T19:17:00.001-04:00

It's been quiet around here hasn't it? Not that life has been boring, just not....bloggable. Well, perhaps I just wasn't interested in putting effort into blogging. *shrug* It happens to the best of us.

So, here we are in November. It's a month of novel writing, being thankful, growing mustaches and blogging. Might as well follow the crowd. I'll be sure to post a photo of my bitchin' mo at the end of the month.

The way things are

2011-09-27T13:02:00.005-04:00

If you've ever read the comments section on any mainstream article reporting on gay issues, you know how much intolerance there is out there. I know that the internet leaves a veil of anonymity that makes it easier for a person to say such things, but just knowing those thoughts are out there is enough to make ones blood run cold. It's a reminder that the fear, hatred and intolerance is real. It's real and it's essentially directed towards me.

I read a blog entry recently that was written in response to a supposed injustice; to the inability for this woman to "be free". You see, she can no longer leave her house with her children because the gays have taken that right away from her. Gay PDA is scarring her children and she's expected to tolerate it. (Note that by PDA I mean things like two women holdings hands while watching their children play in the park and two men sitting just a little too close each other at the pool.) I'd link the blog so that you could get a better idea of her psychosis, but I refuse to give her site any more traffic than it has already received. I'm sure her feelings are real; that the fear and concern she holds for the world and her children is genuine. I'd even say that I know exactly how she feels. The difference is that she's afraid of a conversation with her children about the ways of the world (and that they may reject her ideals) and I'm afraid of verbal or physical assault.

Dorothy Snarker of Dorothy Surrenders put the feeling in the most perfect way. Her whole entry is worth a read, but specifically this:
"So for every person out there who persists on thinking we’re just shoving our big gay agenda into their faces, trust me – we’ve thought about the consequences of what we’re doing a lot more than you ever have. And we do what we do because we’ve decided that it’s worth it – despite all the bullshit – to be who we are."

So, Dear I can't leave the house lady,
Society expects us to consider others, the law of land says that until my actions impose on the rights of others, that action is my right. So, while you claim I'm violating your right to freedom, remember that I have the same claim. I feel imposed upon because I have to carry fear about something as simple as hand holding in public, while you feel imposed upon because society expects you to act tolerant of others in public. Please know that I'm looking forward to the day when neither of us will feel imposed upon anymore.

Oh noes! It's a Hurriquake! (tm Binnie)

2011-08-29T11:31:00.003-04:00

So last week was quite the week, what with the earthquake and the aftershocks and oh yeah, the hurricane! There's nothing like natural disasters to make you stop for a moment and take stock. That said, it wasn't much of a disaster. At least, not here. Not for me.

I didn't lose anything, except maybe one night out with friends and some time spent in traffic. A few things fell of some shelves, but they didn't even break. I lost cell service for an hour or so, but never lost power, or LAN or you know, running water. The events were hyped enough on the news and through the worry of friends and family, that the whole ordeal seemed somewhat like a disappointment. But what did I expect? Flooding? Broken windows? Collapsed buildings? FEMA shelters? Mass chaos? Would one or all of those things, a Katrina like disaster, have somehow been better?

It's weird to feel disappointment, when what I should be feeling is spared. An earthquake followed 4 days later by a hurricane could have been epic. Epic, not in the internet-y sarcastic awesomeness sorta way, but in the Biblical mass casualty sort of way. There wasn't much survival in my survival of these natural disasters and for that I am thankful.

Got Lemons? Add salt.

2011-07-10T11:56:00.002-04:00

I believe there's a right way to do things and that if that path isn't followed, ridicule and judgment will inevitably follow. The fact that my belief is patently untrue seems irrelevant.

Life has handed me quite a few lemons recently. Convention would dictate that I should make lemonade. But what happens if I want orange juice instead? Or milk? Or maybe I just know that I don't have the ingredients to make lemonade?

I don't know what to do then. I don't know what will happen. I don't know and it scares the shit out of me. I don't know, but I'm about to find out.

Mental Notes

2011-06-14T14:27:00.003-04:00

Connections with other people need maintenance - from both sides. If the other person isn't putting something in, it may not be worth your time.

Action, even if the result is undesirable, is less depressing than inaction.

People's words and actions say far more about them, than they do you.

Thought about what you want should be involved in every decision.

"I don't care" really means "I care, but I don't want to tell you." Sometimes, "I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer, but sometimes it means "I know, but I don't want to tell you". The trick in any relationship is learning the difference.

There are some things that just aren't your fault. There's no learning from failure there. Just move on.

5 Things That Make 5 Other Things Better

2011-05-17T09:27:00.004-04:00

1. Milk
2. Sprinkles
3. Chocolate Chips
4. Ketchup
5. Milkshakes

1. Cookies
2. Ice Cream
3. Bagels, Scones, Pancakes...
4. Mac & Cheese
5. Everything

5 Things I saw on a run* in Roanoke

2011-05-16T21:12:00.002-04:00

1. A Mountain.

(Actually, there are a lot of mountains around here.)

2. A field of grass and a darkening sky

3. A ladybug

4. A Barn

5. A Basketball Hoop

(Makes me wish I had brought my basketball...)

*Yes...I went on a run, like outside...by myself. It was kind of a pathetic run...but it was exercise and that is good.

BrilliantlyBitter's Hot 10

2011-05-14T09:46:00.002-04:00

In celebration of AfterEllen.com's Yearly Hot 100 List here's my Hot 10 for 2011.

1. Elizabeth Mitchell
2. Julianne Moore
3. Sarah Paulson
4. Rachel Maddow
5. Sara Gilbert
6. Ming Na
7. Jessica Capshaw
8. Heather Peace
9. Jodie Foster
10. Cherry Jones

5 Things that make me feel ________.

2011-05-13T14:21:00.002-04:00

Alive
1. Running as fast as I can
2. Sore muscles the day after a good work out.
3. Sex
4. Contagious laughter
5. Cathartic crying that requires more that a few tissues.

Happy
1. Falling asleep holding Abby close
2. My family
3. My cats. Also, any soft kitty tummy I encounter.
4. Holding a camera and looking at the world through its lens.
5. Thinking about the future.

Sad
1. ASPCA ads. Also, road kill and hunting shows.
2. My family
3. The ex-gay movement
4. Broken promises
5. Thinking about the past

Scared
1. Flying things; including bugs, birds and bats.
2. Fish. Dead or alive.
3. The prospect of disease
4. Things you can hear but not see
5. Being lost

Cynical and/or Bitter
1. Meetings at work
2. Anything on Fox News
3. Christian services. Especially when they are on TV.
4. Filling out paperwork that requires me to check the single box.
5. All those times that I find myself up against the glass ceiling.

5 things that keep me from what I want

2011-05-10T14:38:00.004-04:00

1. Lack of a desire to consider alternatives to what I have for fear of losing what I have
2. The sub-conscious comfort I get from not having what I want
3. What if it's not really what I want?
4. What I think other people will think about what I want.
5. Lack of self confidence to pursue what I want

Basically, it all boils down to fear of things that exist almost entirely in my own head. Awesome.

5 Reasons to give up and just eat the freakin' chocolate

2011-05-06T18:38:00.005-04:00

1. Being required to provide an answer to people on the phone, in person and on im. All at the same time.

2. The only things you've had to eat all day are a breakfast bar, a banana and a salad.

3. Two demos get hosed for reasons completely out of your control. That reason is the same person.

4. Surviving a battery of im assaults from your boss that end with you saying "I'm about to drop F bombs on you" and a reiteration of the same thing you had already typed at least 3 times. His response? "Best. Boss. Ever." Also, "I'm expecting a mug".

5. It's after 6pm on a Friday (that started earlier than normal) and you haven't left work yet.

Top Five Reasons I Love My Wife

2011-05-05T09:48:00.003-04:00

1. Her need to inject personality into serious matters
2. Her inability to make a decision
3. The tenacity with which she keeps me healthy
4. They way she looks in a dress or jeans and a t-shirt or work out clothes or you know, nothing. :)
5. Getting to clean up her cooking/baking/chocolate making/doughnut frying experiments. (Both by eating them, and the more traditional use of the word clean.)

Obama got Osama

2011-05-02T17:08:00.003-04:00

Five stages of my emotion

1. Elated
2. Cynical
3. Curious
4. Depressed
5. Thoughtful

There's no doubt that it's a good thing when human beings like Osama bin Laden no longer walk the Earth. That said, I believe our celebration as a country to be bordering on barbarous. A co-worker expressed his delight at the thought of the digital audio of the mission being leaked. I expressed my disinterest in listening to the death of several human beings. He claimed I should watch more action movies.

I watch plenty of action movies. Real life is very different from the movies.

May Challenge

2011-04-28T13:08:00.002-04:00

Lists.

I like lists. Abby likes list so much she has a whole blog dedicated to it. So...I thought maybe I'd give that a try.

And so to begin...I'll answer a question from my therapist. Sorta.

Things that make me angry:

1. Submissive women
2. Men who are dismissive toward women
3. People who place recyclable items in the trash...right next to the recycle bin
4. People who are more like me than I'd care to admit
5. People who stand on the left on escalators (ie Tourists in the metro system)

Cutting back on the refined sugar in my diet

2011-04-25T17:49:00.003-04:00

I do things cold turkey. Thus, no sweet treats on weekdays. This mostly applies to chocolate things. Cookies, cakes, straight up chocolate, etc. I've done it before. I can do it again. For reals.

Day 1:
Before noon today I ate a Cadbury Cream Egg.

Total fail.

Goal tomorrow: To remember I set this goal.

Good Mourning

2011-04-15T12:59:00.005-04:00

Last month, I was artificially happy.
Last week, I was engaged in the world.
Yesterday, I was miserably depressed.
Today, I'm angry.

I do wish I was paying more attention to the roller coaster of emotions I've been on for the last...oh, decade. I feel like if I had, I could dissect them. I could learn something. If only I could just remember every detail from every day. Then maybe I could sort through them somehow and have a chance to make some sense of things.

A friend of mine sent me a link to the following set of blog entries. After losing her father, she felt that the words the entries contained had provided her some catharsis. I read them this morning while eating instant oatmeal. Crying to the point that I couldn't see the screen, realizing I was going to be late for work and not caring, I just sat there on my couch. I just sat there and I thought. I compared her experience, one that on the surface should have been very similar to mine, and just got angry.

Why?

Why did she have to die?

Why do I feel like I didn't get to say goodbye? Why were my last conversations with my mother wrought with years of internalized anguish? Why was there no naked honesty? Why are my dreams of my mother anything but comforting? Why couldn't I examine my pain and search for answers? Why was I just stuck? Static. Stoic. Stationary.

It's called complicated grief.

Or so I'm told. Combine that with lifelong depression and I had no chance. No chance at what? At grieving normally? At moving on? Who says we should ever move on and normal isn't a word that should be used in regards to a personal experience.

I appreciate this woman's courage to examine her pain. To share it with the world. I am grateful for how her words have affected me. I am happy that I can feel again. That I feel like I have the strength to dissect my experience. But I'm still angry.

I suppose that's just something I'm going to have to work through.

This is your brain on drugs...

2011-03-30T19:19:00.001-04:00

So my brain chemistry is a little tweaked and I didn't sleep for like two days. Yesterday, I finally did. 7 to 7. Not much time in there for a post. :( Thankfully, I don't have to drive down 95 South to get to my baby's house and thus I was well taken care of.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: The Duhks - 95 South

It Gets Better

2011-03-28T20:38:00.004-04:00

It does. But perhaps not today. Since my cats are insane and work was so busy I didn't eat until 2pm, I'm letting this particularly awesome song and video speak for itself so follow the link. (Lyrics NSFW so put on those headphones.)

Playing this morning on my HTC Incredible: Rebecca Drysdale - It Gets Better

The Importance of Optimization and Efficiency

2011-03-25T19:11:00.005-04:00

I just barely caught the train this morning and thus was not in my usual car. It's funny how habitual people can be. I see some of the same people almost everyday. This morning as I walked the extra distance to the escalator, I observed the throng of people existing the car I typically do. I always thought it was just a pretty busy stop. Turns out most of us just exit the car that stops right in front of the escalator. It's comforting to know that there are other people who plan their commute in such a meticulous way that they optimize for the most efficient path from train car to the exit.

And really...that is just scratching the service of my shall we say, anal retentive type ways. Thankfully, I'm married to a woman who counts the number of cucumbers and tomatoes she puts in our salads in the morning to ensure we always have the same amount.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Lyle Lovett - Rollin' By

"I don't want the world. I just want your half."

2011-03-24T08:29:00.003-04:00

Another song about lost love, lost opportunity. Reading and trying to comprehend the lyrics to all these songs simply leads me to the conclusion that we are all, in one way or another, in the same boat. Imagine if we all pulled the oars in unison.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: They Might Be Giants - Ana Ng

How do you let go?

2011-03-23T21:38:00.003-04:00

Of anything really...I mean what must happen for you to just be done with something. Is it out of sight out of mind? Must you complete all the stages of grief? Can you just willfully forget? How do you recover from the loss of a relationship or a parent or your favorite pair of sneakers?

I suppose like anything there are degrees of things and areas of grey and there's no way to predict how *you* will react or what will sooth your particular brand of pain.

It'd be nice if there was a quick fix. A sure fire way to solve any problem. A psychological Easy Button.

The closest thing I've got is a cocktail of drugs that mess with my brain chemistry. I apply them in ways that could be described as more of an art than a science. It helps, but it's not a fix. Why can't there just be a fix?

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Chris Pureka - 3am

Passive Voice

2011-03-22T12:47:00.004-04:00

"In what other situations in your life have you stuck with status quo rather than make a change?"
"Um...all of them?"

So that's something I'm working on. No longer being a passive participant in my own life. No more avoiding necessary conflict. No more avoiding risk at all costs. No more striving for plausible deniability.

Setting lower, actually attainable, bars. Allowing for failure. Exhibiting less concern for what others think by paying more attention to what I think. Express anger directly. These are all ways in which I can combat a lifelong pattern.

Navigating through the world the way my mother taught me is no longer an option. My life is to be lived on the offense. And I'll try really, really hard not to use my passive voice to do so.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: KT Tunstall - White Bird

The Soiree

2011-03-21T22:20:00.002-04:00

So...since it has a website now, it must be official, right?

Mostly, I've been working on that. Oh and also, getting back into the swing of real life. So far, everything except work is moving along nicely. It's gonna be painful when I run into those deadlines tomorrow. *sigh*

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Many songs that I do not remember, cause I forgot about this until right before I am headed for bed

"[She] makes the knees of my bees weak"

2011-03-20T20:14:00.006-04:00

The sunrise on that Friday morning was gorgeous...but I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of her.

More photos from Sunrise on Rehoboth Beach can be found here.

A Day at the Beach

2011-03-18T21:14:00.004-04:00

Sunrise over the Atlantic.

Tasty breakfast @ the B+B.

Gorgeous weather. 72 and Sunny. We wandered down the boardwalk, buying trinkets and things. (Some more useful than others.)

Had lunch at Go Fish!

Spent the afternoon on the beach: ice cream, reading, kite flying, filming and photographing.

Then a fancy dinner at The Cultured Pearl.

Now back to the room in time to catch the end of the Caps game...exhausted and a little sun burnt.

Overall, an absolutely fabulous day.

Playing today: The sounds of the Ocean

Happy Vacation Day!

2011-03-17T20:29:00.003-04:00

Today is vacation day and that's exciting because I haven't had a day off that didn't involve a trip for some family obligation in...a very long time. I realize it's also St. Patrick's Day, but really, I am much more interested in the fact that I did not go to work today. Abby worked from home while I slept in, hung out with the cats on the couch and caught up on a portion of my DVR backlog. Staycations are great. But that wasn't in the cards for this weekend. Abby planned out a surprise weekend mini-vacation. She researched it. Planned it so that it can be as activity filled or laid back as we want it to be and even made a clever way to present the surprise.

All this in it self is an awesome thing to do for your wife. But what makes it really special is that she kept the secret. The whole thing? Total surprise. :) Bestest wife ever, my dear Abigail. Thanks so very much.

Playing today on the car ipod: An oddly high ratio of Irish music given that we simply set it on random

Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater...

2011-03-16T20:33:00.002-04:00

So...I've sorta cheated a bit with this months challenge. I've taken to choosing the song that I heard that day that fits with what I'm thinking about. Or the one that stuck in my head and got me thinking. Once, I even searched for the song that my thoughts reminded me of and played it just so I could write a post. Today, I've got nothing but the first song I heard this morning and two words: ON VACATION!

2 days. 2 whole days without work. No meetings, no conference calls, no e-mails, no insanity just...life. Abby is taking me on a surprise trip and we are celebrating. Celebrating us, our plans for the future, our good fortune in being able to take a vacation. It has nothing to do with Jesus or Suburbia or Green Day or their slightly odd but catchy song, but oh well. Who cares? Cause I'M ON VACATION!

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia

A Rant About Molds, Lines and Boxes

2011-03-15T19:22:00.004-04:00

To what lengths might one go to fit into a mold? The mold of "normal" or "feminine" or simply "acceptable". Does it depend on the circumstances? Does a child try harder to fit the ideals set forth by a parent than by some other role model? Does the individual then follow that pattern through to their relationships later in life? Is that why women contort themselves into someone unrecognizable to their friends in order keep a man? Or why, as in the song I heard this morning, a man did everything he thought the woman wanted without regard to his own truths just to win her over?

It's when I start thinking like this that I'm reminded of Dar Williams' "What Do You Hear in These Sounds". In a song about therapy she sings: "When I hit a rut, [the therapist] says to try the other parent." Can you really trace all your behaviors, all your thought patterns and ways you express yourself back to something you modeled from your parent?

In my case, yeah. You pretty much can. There's always then the question of whether it's environment (ie modeled) or genetics (ie instinctual) that has caused history to repeat itself. Likely, it's some of both, but in the end, I think you learn about society, about what society expects from you and how to navigate through it from your parents. Until you leave the nest so to speak, you're pretty much limited to their coping mechanisms, to their ways of expressing anger, frustration, joy and sadness. After 18 or so years, you've developed habits that are hard to undo. It takes work to really understand yourself and really face who and what you are. Society, your family, your friends, your significant other, all seem to have ideas about what you as person should be. In the end, none of that matters.

Proper self image, expression of your true self should start as early as possible. But it's a tough road. When a 3 year old starts asking "Do I look cute" when you put her hair in pigtails, you know the 'molding' has already begun. It began the second your parents learned of your sex. In an era where we understand the difference between sex and gender, it's mind boggling the pressure that still exists to be one or the other. Male, Female. Feminine, Masculine. Straight, Gay. If you don't fit perfectly inside a box you are wrong and typically thrown into some box that probably doesn't fit so well.

The box I was given, the mold I was expected to fill, didn't fit. I rebelled and the relationship with my parents suffered. Not because I was expressing my true self, but because my mother could not see outside the box; wasn't comfortable coloring outside the lines. The lines she drew. Lines that were heavily based on the ones her parents drew and so on down the line for generations.

I don't like lines and boxes and molds. Free radical is more my style. Some people feel radicals are the cause of cancers and disease; the degradation of society. I feel that the freedom involved in being one thing, the opposite thing, or something else entirely is the cause of change; the cause of growth in society. The reason we evolve as a society.

Thus, I let my freak flag fly. In as many situations as possible. I'm learning to express myself in ways that are inherent to me. To break out of the mold set forth by my parents and not feel guilty about it. I am relevant. I can not be negated. I'm allowed to accept help, even if I don't need it. My self judgments are not the same as thing as the opinions of others. I am me and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: When Will I Learn - The Hippos

Last song of the day

2011-03-14T21:04:00.002-04:00

I honestly can't remember the first song I heard this morning on way to work. However, I do remember the last. And so for today, we'll work with that one.

This exercise has forced me to take a bit more notice to my music collection. Really pay attention to lyrics. I'm relating to songs I've heard a thousand times in ways I haven't before. I'm learning new ways to think about things, new words to use to describe them. In hearing how others have expressed what may (or may not) be similar feelings when faced with what may (or may not) be similar situations, I simply find myself feeling less alone in the world.

...
"Life is not a looking glass
Don't get tangled in your past
Like i am learning not to

Where are you now
Do you let me down
Do you make me grieve for you
Do i make you proud
Do you get me now
Am i your pride joy"

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Brandi Carlile - Pride and Joy

Two Violins are Better Than One

2011-03-11T21:24:00.002-05:00

I'm a sucker for a girl with a violin. Heck any stringed instrument. Piano? Hello, there! Guitar? So cool. Cello? *drool* But really, the violin is my instrument of choice. Most of the bands I listen to use strings in some way. My most favorite singer-songwriters (Kris Delmhorst, Tracy Bohnam, Melissa Ferrick...) all play violin AND guitar. (As well as Cello and Piano and Trumpet respectively) So, where did this weakness form?

5th Grade Orchestra. We had a student teacher and I fell in love. Instantly.

7th Grade, CYO. I meet Abby. I was a first violin snob, she was the interloper who joined without an audition.

10th Grade Orchestra, Abby drops the class. I'm just a bit devastated.

11th Grade Orchestra, we perform Bach's Double Violin Concerto (amongst other pieces) and score a 1 for the first time at contest. I hear the news from our director later that night after rushing back to the high school. Abby and I were running crew for the spring musical.

I decide I want to learn to play guitar. For our 2 year anniversary, Abby buys me one.

Some years later, Abby and I are hanging out in the living room, attempting to play Pachelbel's Cannon in D in and laughing hysterically.

Every few months I come home to a violin set out somewhere. Sometimes I get to listen, sometimes I don't. Either way, I'm a sucker for a girl with a violin.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Bach - Concerto for Two Violins in D minor

Dear Ryan Murphy

2011-03-10T21:43:00.004-05:00

You tend to disappoint me. It happened with Popular. It happened with Nip/Tuck and it happened when your pilot Pretty/Handsome didn't get picked up. So, I never really bothered with Glee. I follow along. I watch clips now and then. Read blog and forum posts on how you're representing gay teens, etc. I still think you're a little random and in some cases, a bit too far out there, even for me. But still, thank you for Glee. Thank you for putting out a family oriented show that brings to light social issues that teens and their parents should be talking about. If Glee had been the phenomenon it is now when I was in High School, things may have turned out so much differently...

Playing today on my Macbook: Dixie Chicks - Landslide (performed by the cast of Glee)

Year One

2011-03-09T16:27:00.003-05:00

A year ago today, Abby and I were legally married by an officiant in the District of Columbia. It amazes me what a difference that piece of paper makes. Even though it's not federally recognized and thus means nothing to the state I'm employed in, it's been different than the previous 11 years of our relationship. You always make of things what you can. Pave your own path when you have to. You do and we did, but it's nice to be able to walk a path beaten down by others before you. It's nice to not have to work quite that hard. The feeling of support from your government, from your fellow citizen, is indescribable and irreplaceable.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Natalia Zuckerman - Anyway

Independence

2011-03-08T21:00:00.003-05:00

Abby and I are independent people. We insist on doing things ourselves. Everything. Ourselves. We take pride in doing every thing on. our. own. As I work through all my issues in therapy, I'm learning that this tactic...this way of life, isn't exactly healthy. It doesn't allow people in. We can't persist all on our own. We shouldn't want to do so. Needing help isn't a fault. Wanting help doesn't make us weak. Thus, we've decided to hold an event, hired an event planner and asked for financial help to pull the whole wedding extravaganza off. I think we can consider this growth.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Rachael Cantu - Your Hips Are Bad

Sun, Dirt, Water and Everlasting Love

2011-03-07T12:12:00.003-05:00

One would think these are the basic necessities in life, turns out, you need to add electricity to that list.

We were without power for the majority of Sunday. It's kind of shocking how much we take it for granted. We could only leave the house one person at a time. (The electronic keypads weren't working.) Cell phones died. Laptops had some battery life but no internet. Showers were quick and by candlelight. Habit had us flipping light switches and reaching for solutions to problems that get us no where if we don't have power. We *gasp* played board games to entertain ourselves. It wasn't how we had planned on spending our Sunday, but it turns out you can reach beyond the convenience (and brainwashing) of technology and manage to have pretty good time.

Playing today on my HTC Incredible: Sun, Dirt, Water - The Waifs

Just a Friend

2011-03-04T19:15:00.003-05:00

"You know, my wife gets kinda jealous."
"Really?"
"Yeah. She was asking all kinds of questions about this business trip. Kinda flipped out when I said I was traveling with a girl."
"Well..."
"Exactly. I explained how you were the last person she should be worried about."
"Thanks, Matt."
"No! Well...you know."
"Yeah...I do. I get it. But thanks."

Playing today on Sirus XM Radio 90's on 9: Biz Markie - Just a Friend

Epic Fail

2011-03-03T20:30:00.005-05:00

So, yeah...this challenge? Not working out so well. That said, I'm on travel, so I don't really listen to music on my way to work in the morning these days. I don't really have time for anything but work. I'll pick this up for real soon. Promise.

That said, I'd like to note that one year ago today, Abby and I were at the court house waiting in line with many other gay couples to get our marriage license. It was an exciting day and something that I am so glad Abby and I chose to be a part of. Seems fitting that on this day we took a pretty good step forward in planning a celebration of our legal marriage. Even though I have doubts (many doubts) we're moving forward with a 'wedding' because in society, it is an important thing and, more importantly, because we deserve the same as everyone else.

Playing today on Sirius XM Radio 90's on 9: Salt 'n' Peppa - Whatta Man

Packing

2011-02-28T20:56:00.000-05:00

Final photo of the day February:

Heading to da 'noke. :(

A helping hand

2011-02-27T20:12:00.001-05:00

Coming Soon: March Challenge

2011-02-26T22:24:00.003-05:00

A written post inspired by the first song I hear on my way to work in the morning.

Week days only. I'll try to slip in a photo of the day on the weekends. Possibly with a new rule: No camera phones...

It's not an empty canvas anymore...

2011-02-26T18:29:00.001-05:00

Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

2011-02-25T19:38:00.000-05:00

Escalator

2011-02-24T20:19:00.001-05:00

On the Train

2011-02-23T21:06:00.001-05:00

Negated

2011-02-22T15:33:00.001-05:00

One human being cannot negate the existence of another.

Unless you let them.

A Study of Light and Motion

2011-02-21T19:15:00.002-05:00

During an early morning trip down to the hardware lab...

Blank Canvas

2011-02-20T18:30:00.001-05:00

I've got ideas for this. Things I want to express. For now it's just a blank canvas. Which is a very scary thing.

Something is Watching

2011-02-19T17:54:00.001-05:00

Texture and Light

2011-02-18T20:58:00.000-05:00

The Walk Home

2011-02-17T20:35:00.001-05:00

Oops

2011-02-16T16:31:00.001-05:00

It's been a day...

Fruit Smile

2011-02-15T19:29:00.002-05:00

Must remember to stop by Whole Foods after work and pick up fruit...

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T20:00:00.001-05:00

Fake Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T20:49:00.002-05:00

Dessert served after and amazing Valentine's Day dinner cooked by my lovely wife.

Skillet cookie with homemade vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. Yum.

Caps vs Kings

2011-02-12T17:50:00.001-05:00

The home team lost, but 3rd row seats right next to the caps bench totally made up for it.

#23 in the "Fire Hydrant" Series

2011-02-11T20:43:00.001-05:00

Taken on my walk home from work. In the dark. Without flash. On my phone.

I call this look...

2011-02-10T18:05:00.001-05:00

The Binnie

It's impossible to tell exactly how many shirts I have on.

Therapy is work

2011-02-09T22:00:00.001-05:00

"I feel like I need to work up some power point slides to present all this to you"
"Therapy isn't *that* kind of work."